


Old Wounds (Can Heal)

by brokenhighways



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst, Birthday Sex, Fluff and Smut, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 19:14:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19470382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: It’s Zero's birthday and Jude wants to do something special, but there's one problem. Zero doesn't do birthdays.





	Old Wounds (Can Heal)

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to write something light and fluffy and this happened. Typical. ;)

Whenever June rolls around, Zero feels that weird tug in his chest. The one that means he's a year older. He never feels any different. Not when he signed his first professional contract and not when he actually made it one year in a relationship with Jude.

This year is no different from the last. 

He's not going to acknowledge his birthday, not going to buy a crappy cake only to scrape the frosting off and eat the  _ one  _ millimeter of cake that isn't pure sugar. He's not going to invite a bunch of people over so they can eat and drink on his dime. That's for kids and he hasn't been one for a long time. 

All he wants to do is relax at home in their brand new heated pool and maybe watch a couple of movies, grab lunch with his sister and go to bed at an appropriate time. 

Jude doesn't seem to understand that. It's been a bone of contention for the past few weeks. Jude brings it up, Zero shuts it down and round and round they go. 

They're at the Devils' Playground one afternoon when Jude brings it up again.

"We could do something here, maybe? Invite the team, the dancers? Nothing too fancy, just a celebration."

Zero takes a sip of his club soda and tries his hardest not to roll his eyes. "No."

There's no point in mincing his words, not when he's already told Jude a thousand times already.

Jude's eyes narrow and he knocks back the rest of his whiskey. "I don't get why you're being such a jerk about this. I just want to do something nice for you."

That's the worst part, Jude's only trying to be supportive, but it's not what Zero wants. 

Zero drains the rest of his drink and sets the glass on the bar. "I'm going home."

~

It takes twenty minutes for Zero to realise how much of a dick he was, and even less time for him to pick up his phone and text the words  _ I'm sorry.  _

There's no reply. 

The only answer he gets is the front door slamming when Jude arrives several hours later.

Zero finds him in the kitchen, leaning against the island and chugging down a glass of water. Jude tenses when he hears Zero's footsteps, but he doesn't turn around. 

"I'm sorry for being a jerk, Jude, I've just been stressed lately."

It's a lie; there's been no more stress than usual. This is just his typical not wanting to open up behaviour and he's too much of a coward to come clean.

Jude's back is a taut line and Zero knows he has to do better than a glib apology. He moves in closer, slipping his arms around Jude's waist as he presses a kiss to his neck. Jude tenses initially, before he relaxes into Zero's hold. 

"Do you forgive me?" Zero's voice is a low whisper, the kind that drives Jude wild. Maybe they should talk this out, but Zero prefers his solution. He continues to kiss Jude's skin and makes quick work of his belt and undoes his zipper. 

Jude cranes his neck enough to make eye contact with Zero and says, "You're an asshole." 

"Been waiting to do this all... day…" he whispers, "ever since you left me high and dry this morning."

Jude's answer is quick and to the point. "The same way you left me at the Playground"

The words are like ice on Zero's heated skin, an unwelcome reminder that this isn't all fun and games. They're on shaky ground and Jude giving into him easily doesn't mean that all is forgiven.

"Jude…"

"Are you going to do this or not?"

~

  
  


Twenty minutes later, they're upstairs in the master bedroom, but on their separate halves of the bed. Zero's still antsy and anger is pouring off Jude in waves. He's still in his dress shirt, even though his jacket and pants are downstairs where they left them. Zero's not even sure how they both ended up here. 

He searches his mind desperately, traveling far and beyond for the right words to say. 

"I don't have the best luck with birthdays, Jude, I need you to understand that. It's better for me to treat it like any other day."

"I know." Jude rolls over and looks at him. "I just wanted to do something. I mean, you do so much for us. The fancy kitchen, the cars, the dinners. I wanted a chance to reciprocate. I want to do something special for you."

Zero inches closer and presses a kiss to Jude's chest. "I can think of a few things."

~

When Jude first got the EVP job, he implemented a strict 'no sex in the office' rule. It's been two years and Zero hasn't been able to break it. Unbeknown to Jude, Zero's been working on it. He doesn't take kindly to rules that aren't on the court. The way he sees it, Jude made that rule to be broken and now's the best time to do it. While this birthday thing is still an issue. 

Zero's plan is simple, he calls and arranges a one o'clock meeting with Jude. Most of the staff in the arena will be out to lunch and there definitely won't be any reporters. They'll be covering the dance routine that Zero hired the Devil Girls to do at the opening of a local mall. Jelena's in New York for three days and Zero's shameless enough that anyone else doesn't matter to him.

He sneaks into Jude's office at half twelve to set up and instantly realises that he's left himself with too much time. It's the resulting idle curiosity that draws his attention to Jude's desk. There's a flyer for a catering company buried under some loose paperwork. It's probably nothing, but it makes his muscles tense all the same.

By the time Jude strolls into his office, he's worked up for the wrong reasons. It's only when he sees how Jude's face lights up that he decides to let it go. They love each other and fighting over his birthday isn't worth it. Not when he has a rule to break. 

"Lock the door."

Jude's smile fades into a suspicious look. "I know that tone. What are you up to?"

Zero bares his teeth in the biggest grin he can muster. "I hope you have some Clorox on hand because things are about to get... messy."

Jude's laughter warms Zero's heart even further and he decides to enjoy the moment like he planned. "Dude, that has to be one of your worst lines yet."

"... and yet, it worked didn't it? You want me to bend you over your desk and take what's mine, don't you?"

Jude's throat convulses when he swallows and Zero knows that he's got the upper hand. 

"Not in the office, Zero. We've discussed this. Many, many times." 

Zero takes the initiative and locks the door himself. 

"Unfortunately for you, I scheduled a meeting with you for an hour and I have a pretty strict agenda in place."

"Oh, yeah, what's that?"

Zero steps forward so that his lips are ghosting across Jude's ear. "Bending you over that desk and making you scream."

Jude kisses him then, cupping his face and and drawing it out. Before Zero is aware of what's happening, the lock slides and he's being pushed out of the office. 

Jude straightens his tie and says, "I'll see you at home."

The door closes before Zero can protest. 

~

Zero's on edge back at the house. His day was pretty open and he's been turned on ever since Jude put him out of his office. It's also creeping towards midnight and he's feeling that  _ tug _ in his chest. The one that means he's a year older. He yearns for a distraction and when Jude gets home, he's prepared.

"Hey, would you believe that I--oh."

Jude stops when he sees Zero spread out on their bed, with nothing on him except for a cocky smile. 

"You were saying?"

Jude's eyes struggle to meet Zero's eyes, but once they do, it's game on. He's out of his jacket and shirt before Zero can blink and he's making fast work of his pants. 

"Wanna suck you," he murmurs and most of the time, Jude doesn't even say that shit, but when he does it means that all bets are off. 

This is going to be fast, dirty and rough the way Zero  _ needs  _ it to be. 

Zero's hips move of their own volition, pumping up slowly so that he's fucking Jude's mouth. He closes his eyes and focuses on the wet heat, only opening them again when Jude pulls off. His gaze is drawn to Jude's swollen, shiny lips and that's all it takes for him to flip them over. He grinds into Jude and kisses him, once on the mouth and then along his neck and down to his chest.

"Should have let you do this in my office. Couldn't get shit done after you left anyway. Prepared myself before I came home."

Jude's saying the right things, scratching all of those itches that usually come when Zero has an identity crisis. In the past, he'd find a random body that didn't matter in the morning. Now, though, he's got Jude. He intends to make the most of it.

Zero's answer is to latch onto one of Jude's nipples with his mouth, tonguing it until he's hard and Jude's trembling underneath him. He gives the other one equal attention before he reaches down to check how loose Jude is. 

"Wish I'd been able to watch."

Jude grins up at him. "Next time."

~

The next morning arrives with little fanfare the way Zero needs it to be. Jude's downstairs by the time he wakes up. Judging by the delicious smell wafting through the hallway, he's made them breakfast. 

Jude kisses him good morning and hands him a cup of coffee before he starts his Spanish inquisition.

"What's going on with you?"

Zero's neck stiffens and he abandons his coffee and swallows down his mouthful of eggs.

"I'm fine, Jude."

Jude hands still above his plate and he levels Zero with a disbelieving glare.

"I'm not an idiot. All of the sex has been great, but we do this all the time. We fight. You don't want the talk about it and you use sex to shut me up. Like an idiot, I  _ let  _ you and we end up here. Every. Single. Time."

"That's not true."

The lie falls off Zero's tongue easily but, it's true and he knew that Jude would figure it out. He always does. 

Jude cuts his pancakes with more gusto than usual and looks away. "You're a shitty liar. Happy Birthday, by the way. That's what this is about? You don't want to do anything and you want me to drop it."

Zero scratches at his chin and looks down at his plate. "Maybe." 

He wants Jude to drop it and go into one of his long, boring stories about which shareholder has a stick up their ass now. He wants to talk about Jelena, Oscar, heck, even  _ Lionel _ would be a better conversation topic.

Jude doesn't do that, though, because he's not the kind of guy who gives up. He doesn't let Zero wallow in his own misery endlessly. He cares, probably more than Zero deserves.

"I don't know what's going on in that head of yours and I won't if you don't tell me."

Despite that, Zero's not about to let everything out now. 

"I told you, I don't do birthdays. Stop making it an issue. If you want confetti and cake for  _ your  _ birthday, that's cool. I'm a grown man. I don't need any of that shit."

Jude abandons his breakfast and stands up quickly, chair legs screeching when he pushes it with more force than usual. "I'm going to work. I'll see you at home."

~

Zero meets up with his sister Laura after practice. She works for an architecture firm here in LA, and they meet up a few times a week. They're closer than he ever thought they would be again and he's grateful for that.

Jude is the one that pushed him to reconnect with her, the way he supports Zero in everything he does. He can't understand why he's having such a hard time opening up about his aversion to birthdays. He doesn't know if it's pride or the fact that he's never needed to explain it before. 

No one's ever cared enough to dig deeper than Zero allows. 

With that in mind, he's glad that Laura is on hand to distract him from the argument. 

"Happy Birthday!" Laura says when they're seated. "I can't believe you didn't tell me when it was."

Telling her was never an option, never something he was intending to do. However, she's his sister and he's not going to turn her away. 

He's  _ never  _ going to do that. 

Laura hands him a messily wrapped package and shrugs her jacket off. They're in a small coffee shop, the kind that's mostly frequented by college students. Zero doesn't care for the place, but Laura swears by their coconut iced lattes. 

Zero handles the package delicately, unravelling the large mass of sticky tape that Laura's used. Eventually, he pulls out a leather notebook that's inscribed with initials. 

"You shouldn't have…"

Laura wages him off dismissively. "You're into that whole stoic, brooding thing. You definitely  _ need  _ a journal. Even if it's just to rank your favourite Victoria's Secret models."

Zero's smile tugs at his lips slowly before he releases a throaty chuckle. "That's funny."

Laura responds with a nonchalant shrug, like she doesn't care if he's amused or not. It's one of the things that he likes about her the most. Her unwavering confidence despite all of the hardship she's been through. 

Suddenly, he feels like an idiot for throwing a tantrum over his birthday for the past week, like an overgrown man child. 

"Hey, how did you find out it was my birthday anyway?" Zero deliberately didn't mention it because he didn't want there to be any fuss, but that ship has sailed. 

Laura narrows her eyes. "Jude called me a few days ago. He wanted to throw you a surprise party, but apparently, he was worried that it might send you into the deep end."

Zero presses his lips together and breathes through his nose slowly. "I've told him a  _ thousand  _ times. I don't do birthdays."

Laura raises an eyebrow and puts her latte down. It's overpriced and tastes like flavoured water more than anything else, but she loves it. 

"Didn't you get my that Cartier necklace for my birthday when I  _ specifically _ asked you not to?" 

Zero knows where this is going, but it's not the same. He spent every year up until his eighteenth birthday feeling more and more invisible. The concept of a special day means nothing to him because if anything, he feels ordinary. 

Like fallen leaves in the street, ignored and trampled on by people who don't even seem to see them. 

"You're my sister and we were separated for  _ years.  _ I can buy you a gift if I want to."

"By that logic, Jude can throw you a party if  _ he  _ wants to. You're his boyfriend and he loves you." 

When she puts it like that...

"Can't you guys just let me wallow in peace?"

Zero will deny it later, but he knows that he's pouting. She's got him bang to rights which means that he has to go home and actually  _ talk  _ to Jude.

Laura reaches into her small cross body bag and pulls out another poorly wrapped gift. "I think we both know the answer to that."

~

Jude doesn't get back home until late and Zero knows that he's in the doghouse. All of his texts during the day have gone unanswered which is not like Jude. He finally faces the reality that he's screwed up big time. He's broken the only rule they have which is to never keep things from each other.

In order to make amends, he turns off the movie he'd barely been watching, drives to the nearest bakery and buys a birthday cake. 

He has to make do with one of the display cakes because it's so last minute, and he pays extra for the lady behind the counter to write 'Happy Birthday, Gideon' in bright red letters. 

That leads to him standing in the kitchen staring at the white box on the countertop. 

It's just a cake. 

Two layers of sponge with buttercream and raspberry jelly spread in the middle. 

_ Perfect for a simple get together or a bigger affair with up to sixteen servings _ .

He knows this because the girl at the bakery was flustered when she saw who he was and read the description five times when he asked her to pick a cake.

While he was there, he saw a family come in to pick up a chocolate and vanilla cake. It was a surprise, they said. Zero could tell that they were excited, but he still can't relate. He's never had that. Never had anyone buy him a cake and present it to him. 

He hasn't even so much as thought about birthday cake in the past twenty years and yet, it's all he's done for the past hour. It might just be a combination of eggs, flour, sugar and baking powder, but it feels like so much more.

It feels like he's betraying who he is (or coming to terms with the false cocoon he's been buried in for so long).

"Zero, you're here? I thought you'd still be with Laura." 

Zero looks up at Jude who's standing in the doorway. He's not sure how long he's been there given that he didn't hear the door. 

"Hey. Uh, no, I've been here since I had lunch with her."

They have a silent stare off, eyes locked and bodies still, like they're statues captured in time. 

"I'm sorry for not replying to your messages." Jude steps forward and drops his keys on the table. "I'm sorry for my behaviour over the past few days. I haven't been very fair. I guess I just wanted to wave this magic wand and make you come around."

Zero pulls the lid off the box and beckons Jude closer. "I guess you could say that I came around?"

Jude approaches him slowly, eyes wide with apprehension before he sees the cake. "What's this?"

Zero snorts. "It's a cake, Jude."

Jude cocks his head to the side as if to say, ' _ duh _ '. "Yeah, I can see that, but why did you buy it? You've spent the past few days being so adamant that you don't do birthdays."

Zero isn't sure why he bought the cake. Maybe Laura got into his head, or the guilt got to him. 

Either way, it doesn't matter. 

"You're my boyfriend and you... _ love _ me."

It made sense when Laura said it. After he parrots the words, he can't help wondering how ridiculous that sounds. 

Jude's frown only seems to confirm that it sounded as stupid as he thought it did. 

"I'm not explaining this very well," Zero continues, "Look, I'm used to people not caring enough to know my birthday. Right from when I was in foster care. Nobody cared. Never got so much as a card. Eventually, I convinced myself that it was just another day. That I didn't matter enough to have a special day."

It feels freeing to admit it out loud even though he feels stupid. He's a grown ass man who's worked his hardest to undo all of the emotional abuse he endured as a child. He's not sure why he's let this birthday hangup prey on his mind for so many years.

Jude broaches the distance between them and pulls Zero's hand into his, squeezing lightly when they're close enough to look into each other's eyes. "I figured that out eventually, but... I care. I remember and I want to do something for you."

Zero points at the cake, noticing that the 'Gideon' text is crooked. "Hence the cake. I don't want a huge party. I don't want to celebrate with strangers. I just want to be with you."

Jude smiles. "In that case, I have an idea."

~

"I think your stapler is under my ass."

Jude's chuckle is soft and slightly breathless and when Zero looks over at him, there's a Post-it note stuck on his cheek. 

"There's a joke about making things clap that I'm too tired to make. So... Happy Birthday, Gideon. Cherish this moment because we're not doing this again."

Zero's hand falters from where it's been tracing random patterns on Jude's warm skin. "Until next year you mean?"

Jude pushes himself up and grabs his shirt. "Next year, you're going to be an adult about your birthday and actually  _ tell  _ me what's wrong. How about that?"

Zero smiles and pulls Jude back down, and kisses him gently. "I can do that...But in the meantime, if this is my only chance at this, there's still half an hour left until midnight."

"Your point is?"

"It's still my birthday."

Jude tosses his shirt aside and moves so that he's straddling Zero. "You're lucky that I love you."

"Yeah. I am."

_ Fin  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
